When you live your life, you find yourself doing the same things, day in and day out. On Monday’s, you do this , on Tuesday this is what needs to happen and so on. Then you find yourself just going through the motions of your life. It is so easy and comfortable to stay within your comfort zone. You may think your living your life but actually, the way I think of it as life is just going by. That old saying, “Where does the time go?”
When I started this blog, I was hoping to be connected to others that have gone through life changing events. I have, but I also found this is a great resource to help us.
In my last post, I spoke about depression. Touchy subject, but so real. I received a wonderful reply from Nancy. She suggested that to help Lauren find her motivation again by possibly volunteering to read to children. Nancy also gave a contact number to make it easier for Lauren to take the step. I don’t think I would have every thought of that. That got me thinking, we were never thinking outside the box on all the possibilities out there. This is one big wonderful world with so many possibilities. Never give up or settle. We make our choices in life, we create our own destiny. Sometimes we are put into a situation that is out of our control, but we have the control on how we handle the situation. When Lauren was in the hospital, that was out of our control, but thinking back it was what we did to get through it. We decorated the hospital room to look more like a dorm room, it was our home so we made it comfy. I remember Lauren felt so much pride when the nurses, doctors would say they never have seen a room transformed so much. We would have people as they were walking by, stop and look in amazement, hell we even had a pink flamingo on the outside of her door. I need to thank my sister Donna, she did a great job helping with the decorations, (we even had a throw rug). It may have been a hospital, by we made it our home. I guess we were thinking outside the box back then, so now we need to keep it going.
Whatever happens in life, remember to be creative………
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Depression is a powerful illness, that affects many people. Most don’t think and or believe that they may be depressed during your life. I picked this subject because it is now hitting my house.
Lauren has become very withdrawn, and is spending way to much time in her room alone. When I check on her she is just laying in bed. When I try to get her to come down stairs most of the time her response is “I just want to lay here”. That’s when my heart breaks for her. There are days when she will be on the go, but for the most part she is alone. Lauren is a beautiful 25-year-old women, with so much to offer in life. The Dear Lord gave her a second chance, and I need to help her find her way. After saying that, I thought to myself a mother can only do so much. So I am doing a shout out to her friends, we need her to get out of this funk.
After reading the list below, I can say that I have fallen into quite a few of the lines. My feelings are when Lauren is sad, I’m sad. I find myself very frustrated, helpless, sad and just fed-up. We have been together almost every day for the last 3+ years. I am not complaining, I would have not been anywhere else during that time. But now, changes NEED to be made in Lauren’s life as well as mine. That old saying “you act like the people you hang out with.” So true.
I have spoken to a counselor, about the situation here. I was told to make a list of things to help identify the source or sources that are making her feel this way. Well, I did. I cannot say what we came up with as the source in public, but Lauren needs to do some real soul-searching as to what she wants in her life. In the mean time, I am putting a call out to her friends to give her the kick in the butt she needs to get motivated again. A mom can only do so much.
Below is a list of symptoms to help identify depression.
Although depression may occur only one time during your life, usually people have multiple episodes of depression. During these episodes, symptoms occur most of the day, nearly every day and may include:
Feelings of sadness, emptiness or unhappiness
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities, such as sex
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
Tiredness and lack of energy, so that even small tasks take extra effort
Changes in appetite — often reduced appetite and weight loss, but increased cravings for food and weight gain in some people
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness — for example, excessive worrying, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself for things that are not your responsibility
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
Frequent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it’s obvious something isn’t right. Other people feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
Many of us experience some of these symptoms during our normal lives, but when it continues then it is time to take action. I have let it go to long in my home, time to identify and make changes.
When talking with the councilor, she helped me to realize that we have just been going through the motions of our every day rituals. Doing the same thing every day, day in and day out. So when something new is introduced to us, our reaction is to decline if possible. With that said, we are going to make new rituals. Time to start saying yes, when friends ask us out, time to work on what makes us happy. Not what makes us comfortable.
I also realized that Lauren is not the only one with a second chance with life, I do to. All those years of always worrying about Lauren’s health is behind me now. She is stronger and healthier. Just have to work on motivation.
So I am going to end this post with this thought. I was using the word rituals instead of habits. Habit is something we just do without thinking, but if we say the word rituals it is something we want to do. Think about it.
Leave a message if you have any thought on this topic through the post or email
When I first started this new blog, I questioned myself why? Then I thought of all the people out there that are maybe in the same situation that we were in and also still in.
We were very, very lucky Lauren received a beautiful new heart and she hasn’t had any rejections in quite a while. But with that said, there are no guarantee’s that it could not happen. You alway live with that though in the back of your mind.
I want this blog to help be a resource for help, comfort and to let you know you are not alone. In the past blog we had followers all over the world. After a transplant, life is so different. After living in a hospital for close to 2 years, when you come home, you find out you are not the same person that you were before. To be honest I find myself more withdrawn from people. I feel like I just want to be in my house. It could be from living so long with no privacy in the hospital. I hate feeling that way because I really don’t get together with friends as much as I should. I have wonderful friends that I love with all my heart, and I know if I don’t start reaching out, well I don’t want to think of that. Please be patient with me. You’re in my thoughts everyday.
If you find yourself in this situation I was told that this is normal after going through such a life ordeal. Please feel free to email me or post a comment on this page.
More to come soon
This morning Lauren and I were invited to be on the Bax & O’Brien radio show. What an experience we had!!!!!!! This has been in the works for awhile, planning the date, but today was the day. Talk about being nervous. Now if you have ever listened to them you know what I am talking about. You never know what is going to come out of their mouths, especially O’Brien. Before we went on, we told them to be kind ;). being live radio.
As you can guess the reason we were there was to help promote Organ Donor Awareness..
So we arrived at the studio at 8:20, our time was 8:45. When we enter Steve Nagle came to greet us, then brought us down to the studio. It was so cool to actually watch them do the radio show. Lauren kept telling me she was so nervous, because after they were done doing the news we were on next. Well when they called us in and we met them, they made us feel very comfortable and Lauren was ready, after she first joked and asked them to play another song.
The lights went on that said ON AIR. They introduced us and Lauren was ready. All nerves were gone. She was such a natural. She talked about her experience when she had her heart transplant then went on to talk about how people can sign up to become Organ Donors. When you feel very passionate about a subject, it is very easy to express yourself. As I sat there just watching and listening to Lauren talk, I felt nothing more than pride for her. She sounded so professional and relaxed at the same time. Then Bax asked me a question, I know I didn’t sound as eloquent as Lauren did. He caught me off guard, I had tears in my eyes, watching Lauren doing her thing.
I have been telling Lauren her mission in life now is to help others. There is a reason she survived all the surgeries and received a perfect heart. Being a spokes person for Donate Life is now her calling. When we left the studio and got into the car, Lauren said “she is high on life” That was the first time I ever heard her say that. It’s the best feeling in the world. If you can do something that makes you happy and proud of what you do in life, you can have that high feeling everyday. A purpose to get up and start the day. Not many people have that,
So look out world Lauren Meizo is on her way finally…………..
I would like to take the opportunity to thank Bax & O’Brien, and Steve for inviting us on the show and giving Lauren the platform to talk about Organ Donation.
I think if you missed the show it will be on their website tomorrow http://baxandobrien.rock102.com/
Have a wonderful day
Lynne & Lauren